You might be a (@PETA friendly) redneck.....

* You list tick removal as a skill on your resume.

* You have ever spit tobacco juice on an vivisector.

* You go mud-boggin' and set the dawg in the cab of the truck and make the people sit in back.

* Your dawgs PREFER to lie under the porch.

* Your nicest towels say, "Property of Motel 6".

* The photo on your driver's license includes your dawg.

* You've ever used a BB gun to protect your chickens from a predator.

* You've had to remove a toothpick for wedding pictures.

* You ever used a weed eater indoors.

* You have a rag for a gas cap (on a car that does run).

* You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

* Your idea of a 7 course meal is a can of beans and a six pack.

* You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

* Jack Daniels ties with @IngridNewkirk on your list of "most admired people".

* You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt and thermal underwear.

* The fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year."

* You have 5 cars that are immobile and a house that is!

* Your dawg is worth more to you than the truck you drive her around in.

* Your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

* You think that safe sex is a padded headboard on the waterbed.

* You think that John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

* You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

* You think God looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr., and heaven looks a lot like Daytona Beach, Florida.

* You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.

* Your father executes the "pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.

* You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl'.

* The people on the Jerry Springer show remind you of your neighbors.

* You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

* You think subdivision is part of a math problem.

* You can get dawg hair from out of your belly button.

* You can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there is a law aggin' it.

* You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

* You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.

* You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

* You believe Moon Pies are a major food group.

* You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

* The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

* You think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.


Tags: Dorothy Kernaghan-Baez, AFRA, family rights, twitter, cyber-dissident, tarot cards, psychic, DFACS, Georgia, politics, redneck, peta, Ingrid Newkirk, pick up truck, white trash, junk car, humor