Great Britain is campaigning to eradicate the American Eastern Gray Squirrel. It seems that the American squirrels carry a disease called "squirrel-pox" that is killing off the red squirrels native to Britain.
Hmmm. Native American creatures killing off European creatures with exotic diseases? Even 500 years later, the irony is unmistakable. Situational irony to be specific, but unmistakable.
Not quite ironic, but still weird as all hell - the British have really taken to eating squirrels - the American squirrel, that is.
You can order squirrel in British restaurants. Hunters carry aluminum foil with them so they can cook up a little snack right there in the woods.
Amazingly, squirrels are popular on menus all over Britain. This is reported matter-of-factly in various media outlets without even one note of banjo music and absolutely no mention of hillbillies.
Prince Charles has thrown his influence behind what I've decided to call "Operation Squirrel Slaughter" and made an impassioned speech on the subject at the launch of the Red Squirrel Survival Trust. I will assume that His Royal Highness is really fired up over the squirrels but it's impossible to tell. Prince Charles is, after all, a man who, when his car was attacked in the street, did not bat an eyelash.
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| Prince Charles giving the "squirrel speech" |
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| Prince Charles as his car is attacked |
The car window was shattered, buckets of paint were thrown, people screamed "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" and the man sat like a statue. Oh, and did I forget to mention? During this
meleé his wife was POKED WITH A STICK! And still Prince Charles sat there, looking all pressed and dressed in his immaculate dinner jacket.
I readily admit that I'm not a huge fan of rigid gender roles. But if my husband, The Long Suffering Rick, were to sit primly by while a screaming poor person (or a screaming rich person) poked me with a stick....let's just say we would have words. Those words would be loud, multisyllabic, and quite possibly audible to Prince Charles all the way across the Atlantic.
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| Crickey! That barmy American bitch is screaming again! |
