My older son was legally my stepson for almost the whole of his childhood. I had no legal rights to him. My husband made a point to keep reminding me that my child could be taken away from me at any moment...and several times in anger told me to say goodbye to him forever. Of course later I got "apologies." But threaten me once with something that awful and any trust is over.
I had chosen to be his mother. There is nothing I won't do for my kids - no matter what.
The few people who knew at least some of the truth about my life couldn't fathom why I stayed married. It wasn't something I could articulate.
Then I started watching Bones. In season 4 there was an episode called "Doctor In The Den." In that episode Camille the pathologist reconnected with the child of a man she had once been engaged to.
I found the scenes between the two of them utterly heartbreaking. I still couldn't explain things in words...but I can point to that episode and those scenes to get across my reasoning for staying.
I never wanted my son to have a reason to say, "But you left me." So I didn't leave him.
Here's the episode:
